knitting with dog hair book

knitting with dog hair book

Shocking eBay Auctions

Over the years the worlds largest and most successful online action house, eBay, has run some really bizarre sales.

Some are listed under eBays' StrangestAuctions on the Home page. Here are some wilder ones that aren't!

November 1999 - Pregnant Keychain.

MMMmm. Lady's torso in plastic with a transparent stomach so you can glimpse baby Chuckie from front and sides whenever you open the front door. Educational! Uplifting!

EBay May 2000 - Purse made from a dead frog. Some fashionable person snapped this up for $5.50, and is no doubt wowing Manhattan to this day!

April 2000 - The most unrecognisable pelican ever, made from conch shells. Apparently of Dutch extraction, as he's wearing a couple of the molluscs as clogs.. And he's called 'Stinky'.

July 2000 - Funeral Home Coffee Scoop. Appears to be marked, presumably to reduce pilfering by customers with time on their hands? Online it went for $4.99.

August 2001 - Gator Bride Mummified (sic) alligator in bridal finery.Assumed female, but the firmly erect tail is worrying. Others must have felt the same, as there were no bids.

July 2003 - Inflatable Ladys Legs. Under Home Furnishings of course. Seller says that when the legs are deflated they will go in someones mouth. Strong selling point indeed, but sadly no bids.

Some random shots - Cow Seed... GrowYour Own Herd (Item #145597342). Hey, this could be a hoax, you know? Probably works for sheep,though, they really are all the same like lawn grass.

Knitting with Dog Hair (2000) A book to tempt the most jaded spinster. Moulty Mutt=Money! Hats, sweaters, equipment - illustrated, but not sure if theres a section on taking shears to your Spitzer if the poloneck is behind schedule come Yuletide....

Young Mans Virginity For Sale (1999). Bad times indeed that a sterling young man like Francis D. Cornworth, owner of the BFGs spectacles, and cool 9 year old Honda Civic, plus being a jazz trumpeter and a standing member -excellent - of the National Honour League in Miami, would have felt compelled to raffle his most priceless possession to man or woman for a mere $10 million before eBay, took him down, pulled him off, oh, ok - removed him.

2006 - LEPRECHAUN FLUTE AS REPORTED IN MOBILE ALABAMA LEPRECHAUNS ARE LETTING THEMSELVES BE SEEN. DON'T BE WITHOUT YOUR VERY OWN LEPRECHAUN FLUTE. WHEN YOU SEE THE LEPRECHAUN PLAY THE FLUTE AND HE WILL TAKE YOU TO HIS POT OF GOLD. DON'T BE FOOLED BY IMITATIONS REAL LEPRECHAUN FLUTES ONLY MAKE NOISE A LEPRECHAUN CAN HEAR. Particularly wonderful is fact that leprechauns are into sheer flute noise -is they why they are out of Ballymeena and down in Alabam?

What can I say but - keep on selling!!!

About the Author

Mick Madigan is fascinated by strange auctions and in honour of this, and the World Cup has his own offer - 'The Mystic WayneStone', available for a short time over at http://tinyurl.co.uk/o3kc

All proceeds to charity!

Stray Affections by Charlene Baumbich (2 of 3)